tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post730875631150742069..comments2024-03-18T21:17:01.996+00:00Comments on call me ishmael: CRY, BABY, CRY.call me ishmaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comBlogger143125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-67681640093213441872019-05-23T18:15:29.946+01:002019-05-23T18:15:29.946+01:00Thanks, mr richard, that's a rightly pungent a...Thanks, mr richard, that's a rightly pungent analysis of the Stormont cesspit. mrs ishmael and i were just looking at 18th century presbytery records of Orkney and were reminded of the power of the Kirk in days gone by, and then I remembered its current power in your part of the world. OK Pope Benjy and his gang have prompted a swing to compulsory buggery and inky trannyism - an atheism too far - but I guess that Paisley's bogus GodlessHeathenBastardy still holds sway, certainly looks that way among the MediaMinster Ulster Undertakers Party, Arlene looking even more dodgy that her predecessor, Pete Robbo, your man from grannygate.<br /><br />I believe that the Revd, Dr Ian bought his doctorate from the University of Cedar Rapids, Iowa or some such and knowing the Paisley dynasty will have claimed the costs back from the kirk or the taxpayers or probably both, no wonder NewLabour loved him.<br /><br />I should say that our dialogue here over the years has revitalised my approach to our local council and its impertinence.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-59725389845678556452019-05-21T22:15:46.710+01:002019-05-21T22:15:46.710+01:00Thanks Mr I, and there’s been a damn sight more pe...Thanks Mr I, and there’s been a damn sight more people here, wondering how you were over there. All are delighted at the re-emergence. <br />Yes, Ulster politicians. It appears that they’re so useless that they can’t even prove it. <br />SF wants (they say) an Irish Language act, as if anyone interested can’t learn Irish from an app, or even a... a book. And gay marriage, there must be at least half a dozen couples looking for state approval for their blessed union. This is top urgent and politics must, in the name of humanity, grind to a halt until Adam and Steve can give their vows in Gaelic, in (as has ever been vital for successful bum-banditry) the Failed Six County Statelet aka Northern Ireland. <br />In fact they can get “married” across the border in the EU (formerly Republic of Ireland) anyway and it’s all one nation according to SF. So what’s going on?<br />It’s bullshit. They’re playing the long game. No public sector pay rises, Brexit’s fault, linguists and gays oppressed, passports to sell spuds, no dosh from Europe, can’t destroy your own foetus at taxpayers’ expense ie. get free reproductive health care. <br /> Something Needs To Be Done. <br />-richard <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-75266505589510959822019-05-19T21:13:24.169+01:002019-05-19T21:13:24.169+01:00Been out, tiger hunting, with my elephant and gun,...Been out, tiger hunting, with my elephant and gun, mr bungalow bill; thanks, good to hear from you, too.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-26642775523060387022019-05-19T18:12:50.166+01:002019-05-19T18:12:50.166+01:00Ah, Mr I, best stay here below the line. It's ...Ah, Mr I, best stay here below the line. It's unbearable above the surface unless you turn away and look in the right direction. I'm sure that's exactly what you've been doing, I'd love to have the courage and serenity to do it myself. Very good to hear from you again.Bungalow Billnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-53819759187512314962019-05-18T22:48:18.025+01:002019-05-18T22:48:18.025+01:00Hi, mr richard, often wonder how you are over ther...Hi, mr richard, often wonder how you are over there, sadly ungoverned by an Assembly still, although unemployed, drawing its salaries and exes. Imagine a nurse orba teacher saying Oh, I can't agree with my colleagues so I'm fucking off on permanent paid leave, so I am.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-4880969469470021922019-05-18T10:18:20.031+01:002019-05-18T10:18:20.031+01:00Glad you’re back.
-richardGlad you’re back.<br />-richardAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-48715786379761651942019-05-17T04:25:06.880+01:002019-05-17T04:25:06.880+01:00Were the source of the energy a well, we would hav...Were the source of the energy a well, we would have encased it in concrete, massed an army to secure it, charged others a thousand quid per drop, and rested easy in our contentment. But the source is one, digitally decoupled, man, so rest will never visit us for long.Tdgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-24692311700836275602019-05-16T17:11:24.524+01:002019-05-16T17:11:24.524+01:00Back, anyway, mr doug and thank you.Back, anyway, mr doug and thank you.CllMeIshmaelnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-22360312539131527192019-05-16T13:01:29.804+01:002019-05-16T13:01:29.804+01:00You’re a sight for sore eyes Mr Ishmael.
Political...You’re a sight for sore eyes Mr Ishmael.<br />Political and social commentary ain’t the same without you.<br />Glad you’re back and on form.<br />Doug Shouldersnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-57866373125106967462019-05-16T11:06:58.361+01:002019-05-16T11:06:58.361+01:00I rarely revisit these commentaries, mr tdg; the o...I rarely revisit these commentaries, mr tdg; the other day, though, I read the last but one, about the late and brief Charlie Gard, it's a high-wire walk of cold, sustained fury ventilated by breaths of lyrical heartbreak and lamentation. Who the fuck wrote this, I wondered aloud, where does this energy come from but of course it comes from you and everyone else here; thank you, also, for your kind welcome.CallMeIshmaelnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-16925756073051481552019-05-16T00:52:25.828+01:002019-05-16T00:52:25.828+01:00So soothing to have your invective again, Ishmael....So soothing to have your invective again, Ishmael.Tdgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-12467125668735892042019-05-14T19:30:58.246+01:002019-05-14T19:30:58.246+01:00Mr Verge: voting is indeed compulsory here and yes...Mr Verge: voting is indeed compulsory here and yes there are fines if you don't vote. The election forms are a site to behold - some a meter wide. Outside the polling station are candidate's reps who hand out instruction sheets on how to vote. Because is proportion representation with transferable votes (I think) and there can be dozens of candidates which you can rank, it is a major mathematical exercise to choose rankings which maximise your candidates chance. An impossible exercise. The how to vote handouts are a crib sheet with the answer worked out.<br /><br />There is an easy way which is just to put "1" against your first choice, since each candidate (or party) has a pre-determined set of preferences where a vote for them will be transferred in the case they are not in the lead. These preferences are the result of making all sort of back-room deals before the election. Which to me kind of negates the whole process.<br /><br />You can see why it can take weeks to figure out the result.<br /><br />Fortunately, the Brenda thing will be a simple binary yes/no - which most people should understand.Mikenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-53027033206533107522019-05-14T19:24:02.865+01:002019-05-14T19:24:02.865+01:00Burroughs' outlaw status has come full circle ...Burroughs' outlaw status has come full circle - I've seen (not read, life being far too short) po-faced pro litcrit stuff that promises (or threatens) to examine the problem of his "fagophobia". Honest, not invent.<br /><br />v./ <br /><br />(if I remember right the UK first edition of his essays, The Adding Machine, omitted "Bugger the Queen" as John Calder was frightened of a potential court case. Mid eighties, this would have been.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-32129858972856494802019-05-14T15:21:12.949+01:002019-05-14T15:21:12.949+01:00Up all night, mr verge, leaning on the windowsill,...Up all night, mr verge, leaning on the windowsill, I often watch any old rubbish; this, though petrified me, it was the triumphalist insouciance of this cretin, as though he was the New civilised Order, instead of being a disease-mongering half-wit. I blame Freddie Mercury, meself. I read recently, somewhere, that there has been a massive increase in UK syphilis and things being the way they are - stupid parents applauding their kids' promiscuous polysexuality and half the young males shoving their fists up each others bloody arseholes - how far away can a plague be? <br /><br />You know me, I read all that Burroughs and Selby stuff, years ago, well, some of it, enough; it's one thing, however, freaky aberration on the printed page, quite another on your TeeVee screen.<br /><br />I, too, am cheered by mr mike's prediction. If only Bruce had done it to the poisonous old crow, Brenda, rather than waiting for her to croak her way into eternal, untouchable celebrity.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-63919654455032391382019-05-14T14:28:18.686+01:002019-05-14T14:28:18.686+01:00Glad to see you've been putting your sabbatica...Glad to see you've been putting your sabbatical to good use - must have needed a few gallons of mind bleach after that one. (I googled the fellow just now : "It was only after getting featured in The Guardian that he found the courage to tell his parents what he did for a living." Nice. By the sound of it his specialism brings new meaning to the phrase "punch-drunk.")<br /><br />Can you imagine the fines if they tried compulsory voting here, Mr Mike? How I envy you the prospect of a Fuck-Off-Brenda-&-Brian ballot.<br /><br />v./Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-21930716558340212172019-05-14T01:40:52.612+01:002019-05-14T01:40:52.612+01:00Mr I: we have federal elections here in a week or...Mr I: we have federal elections here in a week or so. You have to remember that Australia is a federation of States and Territories and only certain functions are ceded to the national (federal) govt. Elections are every 3 years and by proportional representation - so complex that nobody understands, and it can take weeks or months even to determine the result. Its designed to be a fuck up so that they can do nothing. After all we have our convict roots and are not about to give control to a ruling class. My gardener thinks he is more knowledgeable than the current PM (I can't remember his name), and he probably is.<br /><br />Anyway, this is by way of pre-amble. If the Liberals get in then they may wait till Brenda exits stage left before calling the referendum. If Labor (our spelling) get in, which is more likely, then an immediate referendum is on the cards. Either way its the end for a British head of state. And where we go the Kiwis will follow.Mikenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-73995326804135070972019-05-14T01:09:47.905+01:002019-05-14T01:09:47.905+01:00There is a slowly building PR push, here, mr mike...There is a slowly building PR push, here, mr mike, regarding Brian and his old bicycle, FagAsh Lil. There have been several shows in the last week. He is a great military hero, no mention that he crashed his plane off the end of the runway and grounded his minesweeper, HMS Bronington, both courts martial for anyone else. It is as though these events never happened, he was a brilliant aviator and mariner, be told. He is warm man, of great compassion and tolerance. Channel Four's resident lifetime wanker, Jon Sox, probably after a knighthood, has been gushing about how, as a young reporter he mentioned to Brian that not all young people living on benefits, as he does, wore thousand pound suits, drove Bentleys and lived in a choice of social housing palaces and Hey, Presto, the Prince's Trust was born, virtually eliminating youth homelessness and unemployment, overnight. It has even been revealed that if he ever hets his arse on the throne he's gonna slim down the Firm, not his own gormless duo but his half brother, Andy's, no room for the Yorks, in a modern monarchy. He has established a great rapport with the head-chopping, wimmen-stoning Saudi bastards on the basis that he was photographed, once, reading the Holy Koran of Atrocity. <br /><br />C'mon Bruce'n' Sheila, kick the pampered cunt out, be a model for the Old Country.CallMeIshmaelnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-13480021282015268152019-05-13T22:28:01.277+01:002019-05-13T22:28:01.277+01:00Yo, mr yardarm, missed everyone, too.Yo, mr yardarm, missed everyone, too.CallMeIshmaelnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-43545391795227394292019-05-13T22:07:20.340+01:002019-05-13T22:07:20.340+01:00Glad to see you back, MrIshmael, you have been mis...Glad to see you back, MrIshmael, you have been missed.yardarmnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-73377230569083359222019-05-13T20:42:23.921+01:002019-05-13T20:42:23.921+01:00Dunno who Miley Cyrus is, mr verge. But I did watc...Dunno who Miley Cyrus is, mr verge. But I did watch a gayporno-cockumentary, if you will, on one of the mainstream channels recently, Four or Five. It was a celebration of fisting, featuring the fisting Queen of England, a muscular young man known as Ashley Ryder, I, believe, whose mission statement is Never Stop Fisting. Having conquered the UK's fisting community he flew off to LA to make a fisting porno. He thoughtfully washed his hands and trimmed his nails before inserting his clenched fist in the arse of his co-star and twisting it around . The other guy was making noises indicating both agony and ecstasy until Ashley squeaked Oh, shit, he's bleeding, before matey scampered off screen, clutching his bleeding arsehole. Ashley sniped that if you didn't fancy shit in your bloodstream you shouldn't do fisting, nobody forced you to. Later in the show we saw the co-star returning the compliment to Ashley, halfway to his elbow, he was, arm up Ashley's arse. I didn't see any further rectal bleeding but you never know.<br /><br />I would've put a bullet between Ashley's eyes in a heartbeat, not for the practice, that's none of my business, but for the contempt he showed his co-star and for his vile, irresponsible promotion of dangerous promiscuity.<br /><br />I guess that makes me homophobic, which is sad because I was liberal, back before it meant smug, stupid fascist; I was fighting for gay rights before the term was coined and marched-to. I wonder if Ms Cyrus proselytises for shit-in-the-blood as an exoression of true love; she should, really.<br /><br />I think Tracey's postponement and obstruction of Brexit is just part of whatever deal she has made with Brussels. She'll pretend she tried really hard but was thwarted by circumstances and personalities, She's a remainer so she's just dancing the Insanity Waltz for aooearances's sake.CallMeIshmaelnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-4140202094638378602019-05-13T19:46:52.444+01:002019-05-13T19:46:52.444+01:00News from downunder MrI: I read yesterday that ou...News from downunder MrI: I read yesterday that our Govt has set aside $30M for a new referendum (yes I know) on whether the Australian republic (yes we are already) should have an Australian head of state. It will be a resounding YES this time. The idea of a geriatric Charlie and his old sidekick is too much. And we've had our fill of royal babies.<br /><br />Mr Pug is going fine (he's a kilo or so overweight, but all pugs are greedy little buggers, and its hard to refuse them. How is your Harris?<br /><br />Apologies for confusing type 1/2. Type 1 must make it impossible for her and those late night EU "negotiations" - explains why she does no negotiation.Mikenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-8631817060644886292019-05-13T17:39:22.199+01:002019-05-13T17:39:22.199+01:00..."recreationally transexual" is good, ......"recreationally transexual" is good, Mr Ish - consider it pinched. (Did you read the Diversity Parps being farted forth from Miley Cyrus the other day? She and her husband wish it to be known that they are queer as fuck - I paraphrase slightly - and not the slightest bit confined by heteronormative standards, thank you very much.) <br /><br />As for May's bizarre demeanour - my assumption is that somewhere in the FSB's satanic mills there's a black ops boffin scratching his bonce and wondering aloud how on earth Babushka Boots has remained upright despite the industrial levels of acid they've been slipping in her insulin. "Write it off to experience, tovarich" says his assistant - "some people aren't really people at all, and all the psychotropics in the unknown universe have absolutely no effect." Either that or the CIA have been counter-spiking with thorazine.<br /><br />v./<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-46677244840169483282019-05-13T14:16:27.966+01:002019-05-13T14:16:27.966+01:00We have to be kept secure from ourselves, mr inmat...We have to be kept secure from ourselves, mr inmate, the cyber-barriers exist so that we pause, before crossing them, don't want people just sounding-off, do we? II will take a look at that, MoreUnited. I hadn't heard of them, it used to just be the Scottish Demophobes' News which I could not endure, now it's all of it; I've never in my lifetime seen such a sustained attack not only on the public will but also the very idea of the public will. Imagine that unspeakable drunken hag Soubrie, saying, Oh, fuck, I only won that by-election by a few per cent, better have another one, a second one, a people's one; she'd rather eat a broken glass and shit sandwich. They'd give Hitler an airing, Question Time. And another one and another one. Soubrie is a raving fascist, like most at the BBC.<br /><br />Yo, mr mike, often wonder how you in the Colonies are getting on<br /><br />Tracey is Type One, insulin dependent, mr mike; Type Two is avoidable and now curable, people who have come back from it - simply by eating sensibly - are now called pre-diabetic. There is no cure for what Tracey has and however well managed she is she will be on the edge of or occasionally suffer full-blown, hypoglycaemic reactions to the insulin, the blood sugar falls, there is an emotional storm, sometimes sweats, shaking and massively, unbelievably flawed judgement, followed by severe fatigue, she is simply not physically fit to be prime minister. and if that useless, wittering demophobe, Jeremy Coward had anything about him he'd ask her, straight out, Can the prime minister tell this house of far-centrists, thieves, child molesters and murderers - cheers, waving of order papers - if she has ever had a hypo and was it during or just prior to being in meetings, negotiations or discussions crucial to the future of all of us. And Mr Tiny Bully Speaker, if the right honourable lady has never had a hypo would she share her miraculous secret with every other Type One in the world?<br /><br />As to her being mad I looked at her, briefly, on the steps of that gaff where she was giving dinner to Protus, d'you remember, and she was staggering about in a low-cut, scarlet, slashed-thigh, Shirley Bassey cast-off, her face like a bag of nails and her posture that of a rag doll she looked like drugged-up grannyporn. Now, you know me, I have nothing against drugged-up grannyporn as long as it's consensual, might even be a good thing, why shouldn't people fuck themselves into their coffins, if they want to, 'sbad enough being a granny, these days, gotta remortgage your house to some gang of sharks endorsed by Carol Vorderman, in order to throw money at worthless, idle, stupid, inky and probably recreationally transexual grandchildren, the result of some random, drunken fuck by you son or daughter, now you have to suck Usury's cock and give him your house so some irrelevant little shit can get on the property gallows, that's the real grannyporn isn't it? Gotta love Vorderman, though, she'll shake her moneytits for anyone with a few quid. Tracey May, though, done up like a mad old slapper having a fit, it's just not prime ministerial. If she was my neighbour I woulda 'phoned the Community Psychiatric Nurse.<br /><br />I'm no expert, mr mike, but I think autistics sometimes demonstrate fierce intelligence and focus as well as being irritating arseholed. You will recall my ongoing shock at someone as inept as Dancing Queen May being appointed home seckaterry but thinking about it you might be right - it's nor just that she's a fucking idiot but that she's actually stark, raving mad.<br /><br />How's pug and everybody?CallMeIshmaelnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-62513195832238894402019-05-13T09:41:52.305+01:002019-05-13T09:41:52.305+01:00Your prophecy of a Govament of National Unity is e...Your prophecy of a Govament of National Unity is exactly what we will get mr I, have a gander at these Extreme Centrists, Demophobics, We know besters. Cunts.<br />https://moreunited.org.uk/mps/<br /><br />"More United works with MPs from a range of parties who are prepared to work together to put country before party.<br /><br />The MPs we work with lead cross-party campaigns which are supported by More United members.<br /><br />At General Elections we reward MPs who work with us providing money and volunteers to help them get re-elected.<br /><br />We back 55 MPs from seven different parties"<br /><br />Is there no limit the fuckers won't go to, no barrel they won't scrape, for a few more pounds and another day at the trough?<br /><br />This captcha shit is a pain in the arse.inmatenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-51585241248087550422019-05-13T01:49:37.457+01:002019-05-13T01:49:37.457+01:00Welcome back Mr I, and glad to see your on fine fo...Welcome back Mr I, and glad to see your on fine form, as usual.<br /><br />I somehow knew you wouldn't be able to resist the current shitshow - which has descended to levels that many cynics here would not have thought possible.<br /><br />I suggested some time back when you said that as a type-2 diabetic May was unfit to be PM, that she was autistic. I was wrong. She is either quite mad, and/or in the pay of another power.<br /><br />I think we are on the cusp of something quite new, which was, after all, what the referendum was about. Sid Farage may not be your favorite person, but he can sure stir thing up.Mikenoreply@blogger.com