tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post4581648711951008423..comments2024-03-29T05:24:12.453+00:00Comments on call me ishmael: .......AND DOG WILL HAVE HIS DAY.call me ishmaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-44486723349224476262013-10-25T00:54:18.204+01:002013-10-25T00:54:18.204+01:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.botham merry williesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-26498811112286263462013-10-21T20:51:15.472+01:002013-10-21T20:51:15.472+01:00@sir ginstone lurchswill
may i just say that ther...@sir ginstone lurchswill<br /><br />may i just say that there's a lot of fuss being made lately over plans for the new nuclear power-station at hinkley point in somerset, but i can assure the public that i only gave this project the green-light after having received firm assurances that the plant will be fully-certified ecologically and that the power will be 100 per cent organically generated...<br /><br />...and although release of the precise design specifications are, due to their senstive nature, largely restricted under the official secrets act, i am proud to be able to inform you that the locally-sourced new-age technology will all be made in england, using extra-heavy scrumpy as a coolant and ian botham's penis as a fuel-rod.mr crumbhorn - taking a break from generating perpetual neo-colonial warnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-71701891880897640612013-10-21T20:09:47.783+01:002013-10-21T20:09:47.783+01:00@sir ginstone lurchswill
expert analysis of cow-p...@sir ginstone lurchswill<br /><br />expert analysis of cow-pizza syndrome, sir.<br /><br />anti-racist squad <i>wash it out</i> also proceeded to score an own-goal when they went to kick duffer hodgson's arse, but finished the match with boot firmly in own mouth - however, as part of an amicable settlement which it is hoped will enhance mutuality and promote community relations, the duffer agreed to place <i>his</i> foot in <i>wash it out's</i> mouth and let <i>wash it out</i> reciprocate in similar fashion, thus setting an admirable example to the nation and putting integration into action.<br /><br />in contrast to mr wrong articulation's infamous on-air epithet, the current england manager's embarrassing half-time goof is well...just a clanger - so maybe the coach's slip <i>was</i> an indication of a suppressed subconscious racism, and he let one squeak-out in mixed company, but to be fair, i don't think we should ever delude ourselves that a football team based on fanatical nationalism will ever be kicked free of all traces of fascism and racism...<br /><br />...and there we have the eternal coaching conundrum which bedevils our beautiful game and tortures the greatest footballing minds...<br /><br />...because on the one-hand, we have big wrong with his filthy racist mouth, who, acting as a consummate professional, recognized the talent of players from ethnic minorities and ironically did more than anyone other club-manager to introduce afro-caribbean players into the english league...<br /><br />...whilst on the other hand, we have our present dear old duffer who would never dream of saying a racially-charged word out of place, yet dropped rio ferdinand from the national squad in favour of a team-mate accused of racially abusing ferdinand's brother...<br /><br />...i suppose we must applaud the football association on striking that delicate balance between promoting managerial flair and encouraging the ability to dribble political correctness...<br /><br />...anyhow, it all ended happily ever after - rio and roy have now both been appointed to serve on the football association commission to improve the english game...<br /><br />...all events referred to above are entirely unconnected, naturally.<br /><br />now if you don't mind, please would you allow me to continue turning in my bloody grave.now listen ‘ere young managernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-75277476775255160362013-10-21T13:24:04.387+01:002013-10-21T13:24:04.387+01:00I expect you will have seen this site, but just in...I expect you will have seen this site, but just in case: http://yorkie-rescue.friendhood.net/t11692p330-hugo-yorkshire-terrier-lancashire<br /><br />I know it's not Scotland, but he sounds like a nice little chap. <br /><br /><br />mrs narcoleptnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-70890734102991167402013-10-21T12:24:08.803+01:002013-10-21T12:24:08.803+01:00Splendid stuff – and the par starting:
'I am ...Splendid stuff – and the par starting:<br /> 'I am not the great Andrew Pisspoor Neil' was pure magic.Sam Keithnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-47397010069418002472013-10-21T09:25:33.944+01:002013-10-21T09:25:33.944+01:00Rupert you are only half right. An Algorerhythm is...Rupert you are only half right. An Algorerhythm is the sound of an American ex VP counting his money.lilithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05011676751221508167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-87353183460500757362013-10-20T18:20:43.119+01:002013-10-20T18:20:43.119+01:00"sir ginstone lurchswill said...
"don..."sir ginstone lurchswill said...<br />"don't ask me what an algorithm is" "<br />It is a method of contraceptive used by crocodiles in Egypt.<br />It involves handfuls of suet mixed with sand rubbed well into the skin of any nearby pharoh called Sid.Rupertnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-37850329405872410332013-10-20T10:08:25.117+01:002013-10-20T10:08:25.117+01:00I noticed the tie, too, mr vincent, and its incong...I noticed the tie, too, mr vincent, and its incongruity on the wearer, his wee tight shirt and his no jacket but at least he had a go, unlike so many of them. call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-19442532931152673352013-10-19T19:31:59.952+01:002013-10-19T19:31:59.952+01:00I have only ever met sweetheart staffies, but all ...I have only ever met sweetheart staffies, but all were brought up in loving homes. I think they can be a bit thick and their farts especially noxious, but if someone offered me a puppy I would be hard pressed to say no. I am told that the staffie is being replaced by the malamute in rescue centres. These are dogs that look like wolves and naturally hate other dogs of their own gender who happen to be smaller than them. Normally to be found pulling sledges in packs in colder climbs. We looked after one for a weekend but he was so horrid to our friendly mutt, pinning him to the floor by his neck, that we kept him outside and walked him for half a day on his own. Just a baby he was too, sans balls, and never mistreated. Unless you count owning such a dog in this country inherently cruel.,...lilithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05011676751221508167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-77113254002039731802013-10-19T18:55:56.282+01:002013-10-19T18:55:56.282+01:00@call me ishmael
good of you to keep me abreast o...@call me ishmael<br /><br /><i>good of you to keep me abreast of whiich words are fashionable, do you decide these things alone or is there a committee?</i><br /><br />you're welcome - verbal vogue voltage is measured by a highly sophisticated computer application which incorporates an unimaginably complex algorithm capable of analyzing and then calculating individual word-popularity both on the world-wide-web, in print, and in the vernacular usage of general private conversation. don't ask me what an algorithm is or how it works, but suffice to say that it functions on a similar principle to website-statistic programmes which invariably calculate your site-visits to be far more numerous than they actually are in reality (as demonstrated by the service kindly provided at google analytics), or which can turbo-boost your site up the worldwide-web-rankings despite the basic site-visit statistics remaining as flat as a fucking proverbial cowpat - a phenomena evident in the case of the alexa traffic results for the <i>guido fawkes</i> blog.<br /><br />as for the question of whether the united states is subversive, i find that i have to disagree with your albeit well-informed and researched assessment - because clearly all those assassinations, murders, coups, kidnappings, torture-assisted interrogations, war-atrocities, corrupt political relationships, drug deals and arms deals were integral in promoting greater world freedom and laying-on democracy in the parts of our globe where other ideologies had not successfully preached...<br /><br />...the chinese prefer to win over the populations of third-world countries by constructing roads, sports-stadiums, power-stations, electric-grid systems, and generally investing in infrastructure projects otherwise unaffordable for the regional government - but of course this is a totally misguided political strategy, and despite the advent of chinese-financed civil-engineering projects in scotland, and cheap chinese nuclear-power generators in england, we will never surrender to the red-yoke of communism...until they bung-up a few nice footie-amphitheatres too.sir ginstone lurchswillnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-3469683847606321272013-10-19T16:09:10.312+01:002013-10-19T16:09:10.312+01:00Lots of those cross border collies up here, mr car...Lots of those cross border collies up here, mr caratacus, generally earning their keep, nice dogs; funny how people seem to meld with one particular breed. If someone had said to me twenty-five years ago that I would become a Yorkie-lover I would have laughed out loud - What, one of those little yappy bastards, you must be joking. Funny how Time slips away, often carrying with it our prejudices.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-82759218372764828422013-10-19T16:02:10.725+01:002013-10-19T16:02:10.725+01:00Good of you to keep me abreast of whiich words are...Good of you to keep me abreast of whiich words are fashionable, do you decide these things alone or is there a committee?<br /><br />As for Uncle Sam, as well as his serial public atrocities, he has been the world's leading subversive for the whole of my life, acting anti-democratically all over the Caribbean, South America and South Asia - Allende, ContraGate, Bay of Pigs the Mujahadeen, coups, assassination, secret kidnappings and torture camp; how subversive does a terror state have to be in order to be entered as such in your idiosyncratic lexicon ?call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-77059924443348877712013-10-19T13:00:05.778+01:002013-10-19T13:00:05.778+01:00@call me not allowed password to blog for reasons ...@call me not allowed password to blog for reasons of aesthetic instability ishmael<br /><br />if anything, i meant 'tautology' or 'tautological', as opposed to 'tautologies', which is anyhow linguistically acceptable, unlike 'tautologism' which is a 'dog's dinner' well past its sell-by date.<br /><br />glad to see you're on the ball and spotted the deliberate mistake...<br /><br />...but alas the religious spreader of democracy, uncle strawberry jam, cannot be termed a 'subversive terrorist state' as he assumes a dominant position and thus must be considered 'oppressive', coming down on one, as he does, from above.capt manuringnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-64200934764108161682013-10-19T11:38:19.692+01:002013-10-19T11:38:19.692+01:00My old chum is a kelpie cross border collie and is...My old chum is a kelpie cross border collie and is one of the most intelligent people I know. Faithful, loyal and almost fanatically eager to anticipate my every move. He really is as soft as the proverbial and is utterly reliable. All he asks in return is regular grub, the occasional bone and a squeaky tennis ball.<br /><br />Christ on a bike - if I had a workforce just a tenth as keen I'd be a bloody millionaire ...Caratacushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03676339602955090535noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-79081334916160663742013-10-19T09:50:31.631+01:002013-10-19T09:50:31.631+01:00I think that if you mean anything you mean tautolo...I think that if you mean anything you mean tautologism; that's the trouble with you apostrophe jihadists, stupidity; tush, subversive guerilla cells, whatever next, maybe subversive terrorist states, like Uncle Sam, maybe you'll keep an eye on them for us, do someting useful, for a changecallmeishmaelnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-29791931205013313802013-10-19T06:03:23.542+01:002013-10-19T06:03:23.542+01:00the recurring theme of this mr ishmael piece is th...the recurring theme of this mr ishmael piece is that of shooting oneself in the fucking foot - iain dale did, the poor old pensioner, with a little help from his dog, did, thanks to his attack-gob, mr brown did, and mr ishmael did, terminologically.<br /><br />nukes are like staffs, more likely to kill your own than 'the enemy'...<br /><br />...nuclear power-stations a hot favourite with subversive guerrilla cells.nuclear power: the terrorist's choicenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-85332028386053229622013-10-19T05:25:39.662+01:002013-10-19T05:25:39.662+01:00sorry:
replace 'crumhorn' with 'crumb...sorry:<br /><br />replace 'crumhorn' with <b>'crumbhorn'</b>spelling bastardnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-51591598608313498032013-10-19T05:23:01.567+01:002013-10-19T05:23:01.567+01:00the state's job is to clear-up shit
the people...the state's job is to clear-up shit<br />the people's job is to create shit<br />problem is the state creates so much shit<br />the people can't do shita thesis on mr crumhorn and iain duncan doodoo's socio-economic stategy or why we're up shit-creek (doodoo economics)noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-84339034843025026932013-10-19T04:35:51.469+01:002013-10-19T04:35:51.469+01:00solecisms my arse
you know they're tautologies...solecisms my arse<br />you know they're tautologies<br />transgressions of style not grammar<br />fucking word-crimes<br />add one more to the list<br />stupid cuntmichael is a colon: state education must possess elementary oxymoronic properties being like wot it is a an abstract static thingammijig attempting to induce individual human progress, big school strike, big deal, one day less in the state brain-washing cyclenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-21862769155261242052013-10-18T22:45:02.770+01:002013-10-18T22:45:02.770+01:00At least step-bloke had enough of a sense of decor...At least step-bloke had enough of a sense of decorum to wear a tie. Not enough to tie it properly, though. He'll probably start a charity now.<br /><br />Always disliked big, fuck off type dogs. Especially the ones that are 'soft as grease, wouldn't hurt a fly', growling and slathering on a diamante studded collar, looking like a rabid wolf.<br /><br />There's a reason people are not allowed to have crocodiles, lions and bears as pets, and those same reasons should apply to these four legged weapons currently in vogue, especially those called Tyson.<br /><br />Vincent<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-71769070208673980742013-10-18T22:33:11.743+01:002013-10-18T22:33:11.743+01:00It would be hard to be sure that a rescue Staff ha...It would be hard to be sure that a rescue Staff hadn't been mistreated, as they are often bought by cunts. Having said that, they don't need much exercise and are supposedly docile by temperament, unless ruined by aforesaid cunts. My own dogs are a weimeraner crossbreed and a collie, a Staffie wouldn't suit me as I dislike having to bend down to pat a dog. I did like poor old Buster though. You'll know the next one when you see him, the dog picks the owner when they sense a good human. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-29397908747480140512013-10-18T21:03:24.339+01:002013-10-18T21:03:24.339+01:00Masterful, once again, Mr I - The Y thing was new ...Masterful, once again, Mr I - The Y thing was new to me.<br /><br />Please don't get a staffie. One had a go at my little pug; they're evil personified. I would have punched the owner had my wife not intervened. And this in a genteel part of Sydney on a nice Sunday morning. BTW lovely dogs, pugs, intelligent, loving and don't need too much exercise.Mikenoreply@blogger.com