tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post3956461204250880039..comments2024-03-29T05:24:12.453+00:00Comments on call me ishmael: THIS SPORTING LIFE.call me ishmaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-56261135020898577722016-05-06T10:41:03.447+01:002016-05-06T10:41:03.447+01:00Ah, nice to see you, mr gone but not forgotten, an...Ah, nice to see you, mr gone but not forgotten, and I fear the blame, if there be any, lies with I, your correspondent, for mingling - or mingaling as the New People say, struggaling, juggaling, bubbaling and so on - colloquialism, cliche, solipsism, idiom, malapropism and slang with a more precise prose; it is a house style, so to speak, writing conversationally and therein none are gramatically perfect. <br /><br />I have often noted my impatience with the Apostrophe Jihad - even though I am life-sworn to that banner - feeling that blowing a ship out of the water on account of a poorly scrubbed deck is excessive and counter-productive. In short, while I envy, applaud and encourage your diligence and rectitude, I feel, also, that we band of brothers, blitzed, in childhood, by chalk, textbook and blackboard rubber should exercise patience in the face of a momentary slip from sustained excellence in another's correspondence.<br /><br />It was I, back in the glory days of Col. von Fawkes's order-order, initiated the use of the prefix mr to the often bizarre and unmisterly noms des plumes there emblazoned - thus mr ramalamadingdong, mr dick the prick, mr 45 govt. and so on, or ms/mrs, when appropriate - feeling that discussion would be elevated and regulated by the slightest, briefest expression of courtesy, this has been the only vague suggestion of a house rule - that we differ courteously, here, on the cyberstreet corner and save the round of fucks for the ruinous filthy vermin into whom it should properly be discharged and although I thank you for your correction I feel it to be in all our interests that mr mongoose be sat inside the tent and pisses out, as it were.<br /><br />As I said, it is a pleasure to see you, after so long.<br />call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-31412144556419559302016-05-06T08:42:25.474+01:002016-05-06T08:42:25.474+01:00Sitting, Mongoose, not sat. "I am sitting&quo...Sitting, Mongoose, not sat. "I am sitting" indicates that you are undertaking this action in the present. "I am sat" is most confusing and distressing to those of us who suffered aerial bombardment of blackboard rubbers, chalk and any other implements of rage and correction administered by Teacher. I am aware that the use of the past tense of the verb "to sit" in a context which is intended to be the present has become almost ubiquitous, but I consider it to be a new-fangled grammatical neologism which is to me quite distasteful. Ah, thus the language drifts and changes, and school children say that they cannot understand Shakespeare's language. I heard one child say "Shakespeare's dialect" which I believe to be an improvement. Forgotten/Gonenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-15862460557162693862016-05-06T02:36:16.634+01:002016-05-06T02:36:16.634+01:00Many of us feel like that, mr mike, that the best ...Many of us feel like that, mr mike, that the best of days are gone, that the boomers had the best of it - cheap energy, free, maintained higher education, available housing, full employment, leisure, safe streets.<br /><br />Such a shame that our successors, glued to their i-shit, colluide in their own dispossession. And when whatever happens happens, be it from the Orient, from Mecca, from Wall Street or the Bundesbank or whether we are just simply overrun, those to whom it should matter most are those least interested and least able to withstand it.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-29494601569920821812016-05-06T02:28:34.026+01:002016-05-06T02:28:34.026+01:00Yes, very good, mrs n. See further on up the road....Yes, very good, mrs n. See further on up the road.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-90533474776434505832016-05-06T00:56:40.186+01:002016-05-06T00:56:40.186+01:00LibDems have held Orkney! Is that good?LibDems have held Orkney! Is that good?mrs narcoleptnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-53729673448802896272016-05-05T18:35:36.268+01:002016-05-05T18:35:36.268+01:00Yes Mr I and Mr Mike, working out which is the les...Yes Mr I and Mr Mike, working out which is the lesser of the evils has been getting more difficult for some time now. However, in the US the choice is more obvious - anyone but Hillary!...SGnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-30735063978237915082016-05-05T09:18:37.604+01:002016-05-05T09:18:37.604+01:00sorry! a crap attempt at humoursorry! a crap attempt at humourwalternoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-64696578740296423352016-05-05T09:12:18.283+01:002016-05-05T09:12:18.283+01:00mr ish,SNPs occur normally throughout a person’s D...mr ish,SNPs occur normally throughout a person’s DNA. They occur once in every 300 nucleotides on average, which means there are roughly 10 million SNPs in the human genome.<br />anyway its wonderful to have you backwalternoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-16829174861644978982016-05-05T04:46:43.835+01:002016-05-05T04:46:43.835+01:00Hard to imagine worse, but we are on a parabola tr...Hard to imagine worse, but we are on a parabola trending down, fast. In my bones I feel there is a big event looming - financial crash, probably, but could be war.<br /><br />Not much choice you have up there, Mr I; the lesser of 2 weevils doesn't do that justice.Mikenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-32682490776581210352016-05-05T04:24:35.878+01:002016-05-05T04:24:35.878+01:00He can't be any worse than George Dubya Chimp,...He can't be any worse than George Dubya Chimp, can he, Cheney, Haliburton, 9/11 and Iraq, Enron and the Great TitsUp, even zgeorge Senior says his son is an asshole, a coke- snorting, draft-dodging, pisshead wifebeater. How can Trump be worse than that?<br />I hope you're right, and he pisses caustic soda up Clinton's arse until it comes out of her ears. The Feds, too, may yet bust her over the email scandal. It's wee Nicola Moustache stamping her feet that I'm lookimg forward to. See me, Ah'm nay feart a Uncle Sam, bring it on, big man.<br /><br />I'll be off to vote for the local dogshooter in a while. It's him or the Tribesmen, I'm afraid.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-27207834825765892062016-05-05T00:25:37.582+01:002016-05-05T00:25:37.582+01:00I'm looking forward to this. If Trump is the ...I'm looking forward to this. If Trump is the real deal (my jury's still out) then he will go at Hillary with a vengeance. And there's a lot of shit he can fling. I guess the odds are still on the bitch, but if Leicester can will the league then anything is possible. Of course, then the world has to deal with him.Mikenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-10855578389455731442016-05-04T22:31:38.943+01:002016-05-04T22:31:38.943+01:00God knows how many deities we may need to invoke i...God knows how many deities we may need to invoke in this situation Mr I. Still the 'wall' just got ten miles closer! Mexican construction industry futures are looking ever brighter...SGnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-27698291896094019892016-05-04T20:31:44.657+01:002016-05-04T20:31:44.657+01:00I have thought the same myself, mr mongoose, Trump...I have thought the same myself, mr mongoose, Trump and Bernie, that would certainly be a turd in Hillary's mouth, on which she'd choke and choke and choke. She, for her part, could VeeP the fragrant Chelle Obama and have Obama in the Second genullman slot. BothClintons and both Obamas plundering the nation like Al Capone on coke. A mad, vengeful, kleptomaniac lesbian, owned by the Saudis and God knows who else, an ageing predatory abuser with heart problems and two worthless Uncle Toms. And I betcha we'd see BananaMan, the Rescue Guy in there, somewhere, Miliband, Rimmer in Chief to the whole rotten quartet, the White House's limey salad dresser. Wonder if Bruce Springsteen will play at the inauguration, and we know that Bob Dylan would, whoever the fuck the president is.<br /><br />It is certainly a spectacle, the mad old crone and the redneck, both improbably wooing tne greatest nation on Earth, in history, the last great hope for mankind.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-11946210085077396192016-05-04T15:22:34.406+01:002016-05-04T15:22:34.406+01:00I try not to go into there at all, Mr I. They are ...I try not to go into there at all, Mr I. They are all so happy and pleased with themselves having slithered and scrambled through theft and corruption to the top of the shortest greasy pole in Christendom. Kings of the World that is McHeaven. Sadly it is a certain colleagues favourite. Basking in reflected McGlory. Too horrible. (The Bow Bar is the best pub in Edinburgh and my little room when I stay there is right the fuck next door to it.)<br /><br />I am ailing from hayfever and cleaning-out-the-workshop-wooddust today and unable to think clearly and so I have abandoned work, and am sat clicking through the news channels and it is the same the world over. I had barely decided from whom to withhold my spoiled ballot paper next time - Eton-braying Cameroon or Geography teacher fascist Jezster, I cannot decide. And now we have all the wisdom of the Democratic Party of the richest and most powerful nation the earth has ever seen (so far, that is) and all they can come up with is "We can't let him become president". It is a bit like leaving the EU and having the very birds of the air fall dead from the wing. Why, Hillary Dearest, should we vote for you? Just a single good idea and the deal is sealed. But no: bread circuses and something to fear. Just as Orwell meant to say before he ran off to be a story-teller.<br /><br />Ho hum. The obvious ruse for the Donald is to wait, wait, and wait and then fuck them all over by asking Bernie to be his running mate. Burn it all down and start over. Hillaroo would die a fearfully sclerotic death. Bill too. Right then and there they'd fall down dead from shock and dismay. Was it all for this?mongoosenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-39204041379383779532016-05-04T14:06:47.431+01:002016-05-04T14:06:47.431+01:00You should find somewhere more congenial, mr mongo...You should find somewhere more congenial, mr mongoose, surely there's somewhere which serves only the law abiding, in a big place like Sturgeonburgh.<br />I'm away to Gretna, at the end of the month, for a Mystery Martiage and then across the Pennines to York, for mrs woar's Mystery Plays. Much as I truly believe Scotland to be the best part of England it will be good to breath English air, hear English voices in English buildings.<br /><br />The Tribesmen have been truly offensive to Mr Trump, his vengeance, if he can be arsed, is reason enough to wish him luck.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-25723941346816636722016-05-04T13:55:23.678+01:002016-05-04T13:55:23.678+01:00Thanks, I'll have a look at that. They are o...Thanks, I'll have a look at that. They are one and the same, here, lawyers and estate agents and they charge you whether they sell or not, them being such special people.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-8202836175205095722016-05-04T12:36:01.281+01:002016-05-04T12:36:01.281+01:00Ah yes lawyers. Thoosands for the conveyancing and...Ah yes lawyers. Thoosands for the conveyancing and tens of thoosands for the divorce. And what did they do that I couldn’t have done? Pore over some title deeds and have their secretary copy and paste some formalities?<br />Mind you if I could get away with typing a new name onto an old word doc and charging 25 quid a pop….nah probably not.<br />Estate agents? They have folk who they sell for and they have folk who do the buying. Theirs is a business that accommodates both parties. They’re clients, but still estate agents are intent on shafting both.<br />We we’re at the ceiling of what we were prepared to pay for a house that, ostensibly, was from the fifties in terms of up to datedness. No double glazing, no gas supply, insulation etc….right beside the railway. That stuff is ok and can be remedied…but I didn’t fancy removing the 2 by three slabs that completely covered the back garden. Each and every one of which, the owner proudly announced had 2 inches of concrete holding them down.<br />He took a better offer fuck 'im.<br />The book can be read online. So Mr Amaral can’t be making much money from it.<br />Doug Shouldersnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-1059189226919925522016-05-04T11:59:18.172+01:002016-05-04T11:59:18.172+01:00Almost the entire, vile Scottish legal cabal are a...Almost the entire, vile Scottish legal cabal are available for massacre every weekday at 5pm in the Oxford Bar, Edinburgh. And if Donald gets the big buttons, we may see some action after the recent shennanigans.mongoosenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-69747848153767145732016-05-04T11:22:25.947+01:002016-05-04T11:22:25.947+01:00Never mind, another house will present itself. I a...Never mind, another house will present itself. I advertised to find mine and received many replies, people like myself, absolutely pissed off with thieving useless bastard Scottish estate agent-criminals, pure vermin, Scottish lawyers.<br />I'd hang them all and feed their tripes to the dogs, no wonder the country's fucked, run by snooty, jumped-up con-artists, to whom the only respectablr approach is a good, hard, unhesitating punch in the face.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-75268029355444769092016-05-04T10:14:41.116+01:002016-05-04T10:14:41.116+01:00Actually I meant Steven Hendry the spotty kid..whe...Actually I meant Steven Hendry the spotty kid..when he arrived on the scene…but the idea applies to both and it would be hard to determine which would be the more frightening prospect to face as their opponent.<br />They were both masters of their universe in their respective times and both with a barely concealed killer instinct that you get a snippet of insight into when they’re commentating. And in fact the younger Steve especially.<br />Mr Ishmael, I know I intended to send you a few photos of some furniture that you were (going to be) kind enough to advise on bringing out a lustre on. But the house sale we’d intended fell through and the stuff…most of it…is still in storage. I’ll see what happens during the rest of the year.<br />I’ll take a look see if that book. ‘The truth of the lie’ I think it’s called.<br /><br /><br />Doug Shouldersnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-6306591266313362242016-05-04T09:39:44.367+01:002016-05-04T09:39:44.367+01:00Yes, that's right, about SD, it was as though...Yes, that's right, about SD, it was as though he was reliving his excitement of years ago, very genuinely. I simply cannot abide the soccer pundits, they are dull and stupid, every last one of them, vain, clodhopping nincompoops, and I don't care for football, anyway; Steve Davies, though, he was a revelation.<br /><br />Let us know about that book, it probably is banned. One would have expected his success in the appeal court to be all across the telegraph, but it wasn't.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-32877369574520831492016-05-04T09:12:12.408+01:002016-05-04T09:12:12.408+01:00Haven’t watched the snooker for years but watched ...Haven’t watched the snooker for years but watched a little bit of this years..waiting for some paint to dry kind of loose end day and too fucking cold outside to do the garden.<br />Stevens commentary was a revelation..Always had a rabbit caught in the headlights look about him when he was a kid…and he was just a kid when he put his opponents to the sword regularly for years.<br />Kinda let you into what was going on in his head at the table all those years ago…”Yeah needs to exploit his opponents forehand backfoot overloop if he wants to destroy the fuckers confidence”.<br /><br />The Gerry n’ Cilla show has the one side of the story that we are told via the British Meedja and there’s another that we’re not privy to. I believe the Portugeuse police blokes first book is unavailable in the UK. (I might check that later) And likely his current one only.<br />If he’s in it for the money? Maybe so or maybe he just wants the truth out in crusader fashion. Maybe the British meedja are messing with the wrong guy…he lost his job after all.. Maybe he’s a bit like all of us in this small area of the blogosphere…Ishmalea..Just give us the fucking truth.<br />Doug Shouldersnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-78431979294631098142016-05-04T08:44:38.116+01:002016-05-04T08:44:38.116+01:00I dunno the whys, mr doug, of the McCann horror, j...I dunno the whys, mr doug, of the McCann horror, just that there are connections to Power, cross-party Power, Snotty, HamFace and BoJo all colluding, ten million pounds of Met money, for what?call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-48270888824090293812016-05-04T08:40:25.663+01:002016-05-04T08:40:25.663+01:00It does look magnificent, mr mike. A daughter back...It does look magnificent, mr mike. A daughter backpacked there for a year and her 'photos were breathtaking. This rugged bloke stuff, on the telly, though - Mears was looking at cave art as well as crocs - is, well, awesome, in the sense of awesome. And if I had to do it all over again, I'd do it all over Australia.<br /><br />But the seals are back, my daffodil meadow thickens and soon the blossom will be here and the Midnight Sun. <br />We must take it where we find it, Life, in its chronic pattern, before she blows us away, like dust.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-49733845116572604732016-05-04T08:30:18.672+01:002016-05-04T08:30:18.672+01:00She gives me a sore arse, too, Hazel. She is there...She gives me a sore arse, too, Hazel. She is there merely to prompt comments from Steve or Steven or Dennis or John - something without which, incidentally, I find Davies mesmerising, y'know, when he gets caught-up in a match commentary - so to that extent she is bound to be stagey but there is something of the haemorrhoid about her. Maybe that's it, she just can't speak properly. I have often remarked to mrs ishmael that Hazel has three or four too many teeth. She obviously irritated the Chinese dignitary, too, Mr Bang-yo Head.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.com